A rose by any other name.....

A popular old saying:  "A rose by any other name is still a rose."  Actually, it goes like this - and Juliet said it (via Shakespeare):

   

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet." 

 

 Romeo and Juliet - now there's a story!

And it's appropriate as an introduction to the topic of this post.  I've always had a great deal of respect for anyone with the talent for storytelling.  It is indeed a talent.  I can tell a story, but oh my, a storyteller can TELL a story.  Well, it seems that there's a fairly new field in psychology called "narrative psychology" and it studies, yep, storytelling, and how that ability impacts our identity, and indeed, explains our mental health.

It makes perfect sense, now that I think about it.  Too often stories, and the telling of those stories, are invaluable to the teller in making sense of them, of defining the way the event of the story fits into our lives - or not.  We write blogs, we meet for coffee, we stroll in parks, we play with kids - and inevitably a story is told - long or short, funny or sad, sensical or non-sensical - that helps fill in the picture of what we are all about.   When my family is together, oh my, the stories flow.  Funny ones, silly ones, serious ones.  Is that perhaps why we are all productive, mentally sound (at least most of us!) citizens?  Because we readily and freely share stories?

Apparently, we're learning that we each have a style of storytelling, and that style can speak volumes about how we handle things in our lives - or  not.  I know this - when I can tell someone a story about a negative event, it usually help me understand it, and then helps me so I can put it away and move on with my life.  Make the "epilogue" that it is rather than "the never-ending story."  Others tell a negative story to hold on to it, almost to revel in it to seek attention, and the negativity that smolders defines their world viewpoint, and they don't move on.  

Isn't that ultimately what "therapy" is?  Albeit, we tell a shrink, a therapist our "story" - at least our side of it -  but mostly "going for counseling" is when we can talk freely about something, and that opportunity to verbalize does wonders.   And if we can't talk about it, we can't verbalize it, well, it appears it's not a good thing.  I don't have a link, but a great article on this was in the July 2008 issue of Good Housekeeping in the Good Advice section, pages 119-125; ”The Story That Can Change Your Life” by Louisa Kamps.

This also, in part, points out a sadly lacking part of our society that I lament - the nearly virtual disappearance of the "art of conversation."  No TV, no blaring music, no sport games - just conversing, sharing stories.  That was how we got to know each other when I was growing up.  We need to work to bring it back.

So, what's your story?